So people occasionally tell me that I'm stuck up and what not, and that I have an ego.. And i guess it's true, I really do. I have an ego big enough to break hearts and I'm fucking proud of it
Truth is, when family isn't around, you start to seek family in your friends, and when you do find the people that won't ever betray you, you hold onto them and you actually value them. By value I mean you don't talk or do shit behind their backs, which is quite possible believe me
& sometimes it just so happens that you gain strength when you let people make and break you. Who I am right now was made 90% by my friends and 10% by thinking during sleepless nights (like right now)
Really, it takes every bone in your body to wear resentment like armour, but when you learn to turn that resentment into strength, everything just clicks, and so do other people's words. Therefore people's petty remarks towards me dosen't bother me in the slightest!
So basically, people like to talk about me because it seems I'm such a selfish bitch and I'm such a bad person, but I'm so satisfied that it just seems unfair. I guess this could be the case frm one point of view, but in all reality, people talking about me behind my back DAILY makes me thrive. I treat it like sunshine knowing that I'm the centre of their world hah!
So yeah, I'm really stuck up and I believe I have a right to be.. Confidence will get you further ahead than anything else in life (besides money maybe)
I'm nice to the people that matter, and I'm me to the people that matter.. To the people that don't, yeah I'm a bitch, so what? But then again, this isn't being written for them, it's being written for me.
Anyways, I've been feeling straight edge for almost a week, sliding in my own skin, lacking friction, realising short term adrenaline & committing to everyones naggy voices with frustration and annoyance (especially my darn mother!!) But I'm doing what I told my boyfriend I'd do many many moons ago, I'm sucking it up
I'm physically exhausted though mentally awake, literally anddddddd my fucking periods will be paying me a visit very soon, fuck me dead. xoxo