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tinatek's journal
accomplishedSo people occasionally tell me that I'm stuck up and what not, and that I have an ego.. And i guess it's true, I really do. I have an ego big enough to break hearts and I'm fucking proud of it
Truth is, when family isn't around, you start to seek family in your friends, and when you do find the people that won't ever betray you, you hold onto them and you actually value them. By value I mean you don't talk or do shit behind their backs, which is quite possible believe me
& sometimes it just so happens that you gain strength when you let people make and break you. Who I am right now was made 90% by my friends and 10% by thinking during sleepless nights (like right now)
Really, it takes every bone in your body to wear resentment like armour, but when you learn to turn that resentment into strength, everything just clicks, and so do other people's words. Therefore people's petty remarks towards me dosen't bother me in the slightest!
So basically, people like to talk about me because it seems I'm such a selfish bitch and I'm such a bad person, but I'm so satisfied that it just seems unfair. I guess this could be the case frm one point of view, but in all reality, people talking about me behind my back DAILY makes me thrive. I treat it like sunshine knowing that I'm the centre of their world hah!
So yeah, I'm really stuck up and I believe I have a right to be.. Confidence will get you further ahead than anything else in life (besides money maybe)
I'm nice to the people that matter, and I'm me to the people that matter.. To the people that don't, yeah I'm a bitch, so what? But then again, this isn't being written for them, it's being written for me.
Anyways, I've been feeling straight edge for almost a week, sliding in my own skin, lacking friction, realising short term adrenaline & committing to everyones naggy voices with frustration and annoyance (especially my darn mother!!) But I'm doing what I told my boyfriend I'd do many many moons ago, I'm sucking it up
I'm physically exhausted though mentally awake, literally anddddddd my fucking periods will be paying me a visit very soon, fuck me dead. xoxo
content
In the late 19th century, French writer Marcel Proust stumbled upon a questionnaire called "An Album to Record Thoughts, Feelings, etc." Proust answered the survey several times in his life, and helped popularize the revelatory questions, which then became known as the Proust Questionnaire, as a way to uncover a subject's true characteristics and emotions ever since. I had fun filling out the questionnaire, i skipped a few which i didn't understand, but it's enjoyable nonetheless!
Your favourite virtue? the need to be spoiled more than the need to being loved
Your favourite qualities in a man? sense of humour
Your favourite qualities in a woman? trust and good listener
You chief characteristic? possessing a fashionable mind
What you appreciate most in your friends? loyalty
Your main fault? indecisiveness and giving chances to the wrong people
Your favourite occupation? loving my boyfriend
Your idea of happiness? being completely happy and carefree
Your idea of misery? death
If not yourself, who would you be? myself.. i couldn't have it any other way
Where would you like to live? venice, or bryant park
Your favourite colour and flower? purple or black and sunflowers
Your favourite prose authors? jane austen
Your favourite poets? walt whitman
Your favourite heroes in fiction? romeo
Your favourite heroines in fiction? cleopatra
Your favourite painters and composers? picasso and beethoven (picasso's self portrait and woman in an armchair pictured above- my 2 favourites)
Your favourite food and drink? lots of seafood and revive + redbull
What you hate the most? too many things
The natural talent you'd like to be gifted with? to sing well
How you wish to die? obviously in my sleep
What is your present state of mind? content
For what fault have you most toleration? obsessive shopping
Your favourite motto? take it as it comes bitches
pessimistic